In around two weeks, I’ll say goodbye to my twenties forever. I couldn’t be happier. But at the same time, I’m looking back at how helpful those years were and I realize that I had to go through everything I ended up going through.
Someone very near and dear to me in their twenties is going through what I’m calling the “twenties mid life crisis”, this thing that we all go through when we’re desperately trying to find ourselves. We’re clinging to anything and everything that comes our way in hopes that this will lead us into adulthood. The hardest part is that even though I made it through those times and I have some wisdom, I can’t just give it all to them and expect them to get it. A brain dump doesn’t work. A lecture doesn’t work. They just have to go through it, hard times and all, and all I can do is hope for the best. A good friend calls this “cutting the cord”. Garsh. Sounds like an episode of LOST (which I miss already by the way).
Despite having this nagging feeling in my tummy to do everything I can to help out, I know my friend is right. I look back on my own experience in my twenties, which I will now bore you with. I wanted to be a musician. Problem was, I didn’t know music had a lot to do with being yourself. I tried to be Brian Wilson and Rivers Cuomo for a long time. The problem there? I’m not shy and I don’t want to stay in bed all day. I then tried to put on Marc Bolan’s sexy boots, but that’s just not me. I lept from friend to friend, girlfriend to girlfriend, and I just couldn’t find anything that stuck (sure, some people stuck with me, but in the general scheme of things I was confused)
Then I had enough, packed it all up and moved to Washington state for about a year. I got a cat and learned to take care of myself in what seems to be a mix of just pure growing up and luck. It was difficult. I was lonely and very confused, but I think I came out of it ok. I’m now a proud husband, father, and I’m happy to be a librarian. But between the ages of 22 and 24, I was pretty miserable.
I’m looking forward to 30. I know I’ve got a lot to learn and there will be ups and downs, but I’m happy to have the experience of my twenties behind me so that I can move forward onto bigger and better things.