January 2021

WORK RATINGS: 7.92 out of 10.00, worked 13 days
HOME RATINGS: 9.83 out of 10.00, no work for 18 days

January 2021 was a pretty ideal month for me. I was away from work more than I was at work. The more time I can be away from work and instead surrounded by my family is always the goal. My ratings for this month show me something that I could say is a result of having more days away from work: I had an overall better time at work than I did in the previous months. I rated a lot more work days between 8-10 than I have in months. The overall score was only brought down by a few lower days last week, which is interestingly enough the week where everyone finally “came back” to work. You see things get really quiet around here once the holidays hit, and then as we move into January and into a proper Southern Hemisphere summer everyone is taking a lot of time off. I found myself hanging out more in libraries instead of the boring, stale environment of the central business district, focusing on the inner workings of libraries instead of box ticking and bullshit work. I like library work. I like being in a library. What does this tell me? Am I not a leadership person? Should I get back into something that connects me more to the day to day library stuff?

The days away from work are full of family, love, and music. We wake up, have some morning tea, and connect with whatever is going on. Sometimes we’re doing our own thing but we’re all aware of where we are and what we’re doing. There’s an invisible connection between everyone during these days. It is special, and it is everything that I’ve always wanted in my life. The quality of love flowing between everyone at the moment is good. We have good conversations. We talked about the good things and the bad things. I am most amazed by how mature yet full of youth Finn & Aero are these days. They are still kids, full of wonder and curiousity, off into the world on their own path. Yet at the same time they are kind, introspective, and understanding. They are growing. They think before they act, and then they lead with kindness and honesty. They are wise beyond their years in this regards. I couldn’t be prouder. My connection with my partner feels perfect. In Haley I have the best friend I could ever have. We talk, we laugh, we cry, we plot, we scheme, we adventure, and much more. It feels very Gomez & Morticia minus all of the black clothes. I am very much in love with Haley and our life together is perfect. I want more of the family life in my days.

We had a nice almost week long stint at a camp in Wainuiomata, New Zealand. We stayed in a small cabin with one electrical plug, no internet, surrounded by around 20 homeschooling families. The kids ran around with freedom and joy, experiencing the world around them while building amazing connections that will stick with them forever. Haley and I sat around, drank tea, and enjoyed the world around us. It was simple and it was great. I had two “jobs” while I was there, both of which I enjoyed immensely: I did all of our family dishes in the community kitchen and I also cleaned the men’s restroom. I enjoy cleaning and how it gives so much back to others. I focused on my tasks, did them to the best of my ability, and at the end I felt really fulfilled about the work that I did. Going back to my previous paragraph about work: perhaps it is the nature of work that I find myself in these days that I just do not find fulfilling. Maybe I need to have something like doing the dishes and cleaning the toilets in my work? I don’t know the answer yet, but I do know that this camping trip, the simplicity of it all, and the work that I did while I was there were very inspiring and thought provoking to me.

Music is at a particulary great point for me. I wonder if having more days at home than work have helped this out? That would be very interesting to research. I am enjoying the songs I am writing and the quality of how the recordings are coming. I had one great chat with Haley recently about old songs that was particulary inspiring. You see, I have this collection of songs that were meant for Zomo’s first album (more on Zomo here) but for reasons beyond my control they never got finished. The master tracks are still out there and I’d love to finish them but wrangling them away has been nothing short of a series of broken promises. This has held me back for around 20 years. This batch of songs is a missing chapter of my life, one that I’d really love to tell at some point. I talked about this to Haley in January 2021 and her advice was simple: reclaim them and make them part of this moment. Be proud of what they are and don’t let them set aside for any longer! This is something I’m actively doing and it feels great. These songs were something and they still are something, but now they’re reclaimed and alive in the world. This is such a great thing.

I have 24 pieces of music to pick from for the next big project with titles as follows: In Pieces, 10092019-39, I’m Cracking Up, Let’s Keep It Simple, Lucy Gray, Dandelion, Take Some Time, We Make Decisions, We Really Blew It With The Internet, Didn’t We?, Baby Boomers, All I Wanna Do, Isn’t It Weird, Does Anybody Want To Be My Friend?, The Old Wild West, Shelley & Rich, All Of This Is Temporary, Sleepyhead, Pieces 1 thru 4, I Disappear, All Of The Love In My Life. There are also a number of other songs which I’ve set aside for a future installment of QUARKS. I am also toying with an album that is all sounds of water. And finally, I finally finished a project that was long dormant, a spreadsheet cataloging every musical idea that I have ever had in my life, when they were written, which album they ended up on, and more. It feels good to have this database at my fingertips and to be able to understand why certain years were more creative than others. My preliminary conclusion? More time away from work=spikes in pure, creative thought.

February 2021 will bring 19 work days and 9 days away from work. I will make the best of those 9 days. And as always, I will report back here. Love, happiness, and health to everyone who is reading this.

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