I spent 10 days away from all things work in February 2021 and my average daily rating was 8.90 out of 10.00. I found myself pretty unsettled and restless at all points of this past month. In my notes about being at home this month I talked about being tired, unfocused, and unsettled. I found it tricky to get into the groove of having a weekend away only to have it be yanked away by the work week. I spent a lot of time on the couch just starting into the distance or the YouTube knowledge hole of the moment. I don’t want to feel this way, but when one part of my life is out of whack (more on that below) I find that the rest suffers. I can separate things pretty well but there are residual effects when one thing is not on the same level as the other. After 6pm has been tough on me. I don’t know if its because it is the time where my body/mind has had enough for the day and wants to just sit around and digest my dinner or if it is something else. I don’t look forward to that time even though I should. During the work week that is the time I should be celebrating but my energy levels do not allow me to do that. I’ll work on fixing that. I’ve started reading the book Civilized to Death: The Price of Progress by Christopher Ryan when I get home to help take me from my work day into my home life. Day one was good.
The latest Abigail Foster’s Photosynthesis Machine album is titled I WANT TO DISSOLVE INTO THE EARTH and the tracklist, the running order, and all of the little bits and bobs have been settled and are in place. There is still some recording and touch ups
I worked 18 days in February 2021 and my average daily rating was 6.87 out of 10.00. Little things, unfocused, tired, disconnected, lost, overwhelmed, and confused. It was a very tricky month and those were the words I used to describe it. I like focus, understanding, progress, and forward motion. I like to identify something that needs to be improved, help others understand why it needs to be improved, have a plan, act, and then finish that work. I don’t think that there was much of that in February 2021. It is good to recognise what I need to get my work done and to be proud of that work. This is forward motion for me when it comes to work. I have long said that I am not work and work will not be everything to me. This is a step closer to that. The job that I see in front of me…the ones that came in the past, the one I see in the present, and the ones to come in the future…will all have their good things and their bad things. I should see what those are and where they stand and then find my place in the middle. I can now better find out where I need to be and what I need to do. When I find my place I am effective and good. I am finding it much easier to find my place these days. What will be will be and that’s cool. I will get things done or I won’t get things done. Both options are fine.
Life is a series of moments strung together. This month was one that had a lot of tougher moments when it comes to work than other months. Seeing these moments together as a whole gives me understanding of why I am feeling a certain way. I am thankful for this knowledge. I am now better aware that the tough moments are not everything and that my life doesn’t come down to these moments. My life is a bigger picture. Live in the moment, but know that the moment isn’t everything. All of this is temporary.