It feels really good to create music and then release it out into the world. This collection of ten songs was especially great to create and now release out into the world. I didn’t expect this album to happen. I had already released an album (EITHER WAY I’M FINE) and remixed/remastered my entire catalog earlier in the year. So when these songs started flowing out of me I captured them as quickly as I could. In just a few months time, I had a full album on my hand and I just thought why not put it out into the world?
The album came together during a weird period in my life. In June 2017 I began weaning myself off of Prozac. It was in the planning long time in advance. My thought was to do this and nothing else in the summer. However just about a month after I began my Prozac journey these songs started happening. I felt a creative fire inside of me that I had not felt in years. The music and the words came out so easily and everything just felt so right. I couldn’t set this stuff aside….I had to record it, complete it, and release it. So here it is…ten songs written and recorded in the middle of a drug withdrawal. I hope that people out there will enjoy this album and those that are going through the side effects of anti-depressant withdrawal can really get something out of it.
Depression is something that’s been with me for all of my life. I’ve had ups and downs along the way. And this next step I am about to take is just another part of a very long journey.
On June 1, 2017 I will begin weaning myself off of Fluoxetine (Prozac). I have been using Fluoxetine 20mg/day since 2009. Overall it has helped me deal with extreme ups and downs but recently I am beginning to feel that I would like to live my life without its grasp over me. Life on Fluoxetine feels muted most times and I just don’t really want to feel muted anymore.
With all that said, I’m posting this to say that I’ll be completely away from everything starting June 1, 2017. I will go to work and then I will go home. And I will repeat that until I am ready to re-enter the world. This process is going to be tough so I need to focus on myself and nothing else.
Thanks for being in my life and I’ll see all of you sometime soon.
In 2011 I was diagnosed with high cholesterol. I didn’t see it coming but it made sense: everyone in my family had high cholesterol and I was 31 years old and blah blah blah things start going downhill at around that age. You can read all about that right here if you want.
Going vegan, trying what seems like every cholesterol medicine under the sun, and being mindful about what I put into my body were always on my mind. I don’t wanna have a heart-attack when I’m in my 50’s (or even sooner). I also want to enjoy my life right now. I talk about balance all of the time and that applies very much so to this conversation as well. I want to enjoy a hamburger from time to time because they are delicious. I also want to control my cholesterol. I know that seems like a weird thing to say but it’s true. You can’t sacrifice the moment for something that may or may not happen. Balance!
In September 2015 I had to change my medication from Crestor 40mg daily (which was working really well as you can see by the chart above). My new insurance plan did not allow the use of Crestor and if I decided to continue the medication it would cost over $700/month. Let’s save the health care in America debate for another time please, but yes OMG I know. My doctor put me on Simvastatin 40 mg daily. It was the closest thing to Crestor that he could prescribe that my medical insurance “allowed”. I went with it and since then have been taking the medication.
Last week I ran out of Simvastatin 40mg. I called in and got my refill but was thinking way too much about Fidelia Hall and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time that I forgot to pick it up until three days later. At the end of those three days, I felt something that I had not felt in awhile. My body didn’t feel sluggish. My chest did not feel tight. My muscles did not ache. I was not having all of the side effects that come with Simvastatin use. Here I thought that it was just old age creeping up on my bones and muscles. It was Simvastatin and it was basically poisoning me. The drug that was helping me by lowering my cholesterol levels was also causing my day to day life to be full of pain and aches.
I am now faced with a task: I have to go back to the doctor, get my bloodwork done, and find an alternative. There will be another 1-3 months of testing happening to my body with the new drug recommended by my doctor. I’ll also be seeing an herbalist this Thursday. No matter what the outcome is, all that I aim for is balance. I will find it. This is just another step.