Family, Fidelia Hall, Life, Titusville, PA

Goodbye Muted World: Seven Years Ago

About seven years ago I was told the truth about how someone close to me had made their money in the world. Before that, I was under the impression that it was through years of hard work and dedication to their craft. It made sense to me for such a long time. Since I was a child I was told that hard work and dedication would pay off. I believed this because that's what you do as a child: you tend to believe what the adults in your life tell you.

Once I learned the truth about how someone close to me earned their way ahead in life, everything changed. I had long wondered why my hard work and dedication to my job hadn't paid off yet. I was still struggling to get groceries. I couldn't afford to buy a proper home for my growing family. I was at the point where things should have been changing, but everything remained the same. My outlook on modern life changed. Gone was the hope that all of this work in libraries would "pay off". Now listen, I always knew I wasn't gonna get rich being a librarian. I never really wanted to get rich. I just wanted to be able to exist. But after this it donned on me that the ability to exist wasn't gonna happen.

In the world we've created, there's always this extra step that people gotta take to make it. You've gotta give up part of your soul, lose your innocence, align yourself with someone who has money, or dabble in things that get you ahead. I decided I wasn't gonna do any of that and here I am now.

I wouldn't change a thing about the life I surround myself with. As a family we're top notch. We've got a connection, we've got a unique life, and we've got love. None of that is worth losing just to get ahead in the world.

At the same time, I'm recognizing in a post anti depressant world that there are hurdles and bumps along the way. Tonight was a big one that can't get out of my head. After visiting a friend this evening we walked home and I had to explain to Finn (age 8) why we couldn't stop along the way to have a drink in a local restaurant. "We don't have any money right now" is something that's really hard to say to your kid. To Finn, it's not just a quick 20 minute stop at a restaurant to have a soda. For him it's an experience and a moment in his childhood. And I couldn't give that to him. I was, and still am at this moment, almost completely devastated over the fact that I couldn't have a $2 soda with my family.

After talking a bit more Finn said, "I wish we were so rich we could get a mansion and not live in this old house". I explained to him that it wasn't that simple, but I couldn't elaborate much more because I was completely spent mentally. I spent the rest of the night partially mute because anything I said came out grumpy and frustrated, further fueling my present state of sadness.

Learning how that someone close to me had made their money in the world did two things for me:

  1. It showed me the path I did not want to take because I did not want to lose all that was good and pure in the world.
  2. It showed me how fake the world that we've constructed around us really is. If you wanna be a part of this world, you've gotta lie and cheat the system.

I know I chose the right path, but goddamnit sometimes I just wish I could get that soda with my family.

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Libraries, Life

An Idea for Coca Cola On How To Support Public Libraries

I had a dream last night that there was a 1 cent tax passed on all sodapop sales and that all money from that tax went to public libraries. When I woke up this idea stuck with me but since then I’ve refined and focused it. Why I chose Coca Cola I have no idea.

The answer? Well here is what the internet told me: (at http://www.statisticbrain.com/coca-cola-company-statistics)

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And how many public libraries are there in the USA? The internet told me this: (at http://www.ala.org/tools/libfactsheets/alalibraryfactsheet01)

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EDIT: I math’d wrong and now I update. Thank you for pointing this out Eli N.

Now I will apply my basic math skills:

If Coca Cola gave  .01 cent of every sales per day (1.8 billion bottles sold per day, 657 billion bottles sold per year), we’d have $6,570,000,000 in the fund.

If Coca Cola then took that$6,570,000,000 dollars in the fund and spread it out over the 119,487 public libraries in the USA, each library would get: (thank you Google)

$54,985.06

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What could a library do with $54,985.06?

That’s a question that every community and their library would have to answer themselves. I know at the Benson Memorial Library I’d love to have that $54,985.06 to start repairs on our building. It was built in 1903 and is a glorious building but…having been built in 1903 there are things that need updated and fixed. They made awesome buildings back then but at the same time they didn’t always do work that would allow these buildings to thrive 113 years later. I’d focus the first few years of the Coca Cola Public Library Fund towards repairing and improving our building. I would fix our groundwater issues and move all groundwater away from our building. Once that was fixed, I would then focus on fixing and revamping our downstairs Community Room. First, our walls would be repaired so that the previous damage from groundwater would no longer be there. Once that was done, the room would get a nice makeover and update to bring it up to date to the standards that our community needs in the 21st Century.

 

 

I will call this idea the Coca Cola Public Library Fund, or we can refer to it by its longer name: An Idea That Has Probably Has Already Been  Presented Somewhere Else And No One Did Anything About It And The Same Thing Will Happen Again But Guess What I Am Gonna Put That Idea Right Here On This Blog.